zaynmalikx:

viarga:

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly

credit card 

netlfix:

me: its only okay when i do it

I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.

I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.

It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.

I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.

But when I see a mother with her child;

A girl with her lover;

Or a friend laughing with their best friend;

I realize that even though I like being alone

I don’t fancy being lonely.

robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

noonereadstheurl:

I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website

You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps